No matter where you are or how old you are, you are constantly making decisions. Sometimes when you are awake or even asleep. In fact, you are making a decision right now. You may not notice it, but mentally your brain makes constant decisions , based on external and internal issues or in other words concerns. Usually, you make decisions after the event happened, to solve it. But there comes a time in your life, when you make preemptive decisions beforehand in order to prevent something from occurring. These decisive actions can can have a harmful impact on the society and a positive impact on yourself or it could be the other way around.
When you present an action, do you make it equal for everyone. There are many people , not to be discriminative, that are tyrants, or have a corrupted mind. Their saying, actions, and thoughts are negative. Usually these people are politicians, who are hungry for powers. The actions they take , impact the society negatively and benefit themselves. Occasionally they might take decisions beforehand. For example, in Pakistan, when a politician has other parties against him,and the chances are he will not get elected. He will take an action beforehand, and usually it has to do with murder, force and even bribery for people to vote for him only.
But not all decisions-makers have depraved minds. Some fight for equality, justice, and or even protection for people. These people could be important leaders, but not necessarily. And the decisions they take have to be quaint, and beneficial for everyone. For example, a principle's role is to be a role model, and make smart decisions. If a student brings in a toy gun mistaken for a real one, to school, the principle might make a new rule to prevent students from bringing in any kind of weapons. This decision benefits everyone, and shows a protective environment.
Finally, yes, I believe it is necessary to make decisive and preemptive actions against someone because of what you fear he or she might do later. These actions can have negative or positive effects on everyone. But it is always good to not be greedy, selfish, so you should think quaintly before you make any decisions or actions.
Laiba,
ReplyDeleteI really like how you used specific examples to support your points.(ex. the principle) It really reinforces the ideas you are trying to communicate.
In the first paragraph, you repeat the word "decisions" a lot. Maybe try to vary the word choice a little more to increase colour.
I also really like how you have differnt angles/views on beforehand decisions - a positive and a negative. This is great as it allows readers to see both sides of the argument.
Hey Laiba,
ReplyDeleteIn your paragraphs you did an excellant job using sophisticated words such as "decisive, quaint, and preemptive". This really helped to reinforce the intense situations that you were explaining and made your essay interesting to read.
One thing that I thought was a little confusing was your opening paragraph. When I read it I feel that some of the ideas or sentances do notfit together smoothly. My suggestion would to be to reword some of the phrases so that transitions between them flow nicer.
You had some very good examples to support your perception of this topic as they made you think about two differnt point of views and were good reinforcements to your topic without being overly specific.
First comments - fairly well done ladies. the specific tips and compliments are very helpful.
ReplyDeleteLaiba
You present an interesting perspective on this topic based partly on your own knowledge or experiences of Pakistan. It is a great idea to bring your background knowledge and make connections as it will usually help your arguments. I am a little surprised you seem in favour of "pre-emptive" actions - does this mean that we should arrest criminals before they commit crimes? Eg. based on a poor upbringing?
This second post is much better than your first one above (too short and too general overall in wording). Continue to work on more precise wordchoice or at least concrete and specific literary or other references to back up your generalizations. Keep up the good work!